top of page

Tales of a Bitter Bully: A Play for Kids

Tales of a Bitter Bully a play for kids by Bobby Miller book cover
This play's wild antics are available exclusively on Amazon.
Check out the book's description as well as a sample of it below!

Overview

Revenge goes round and round.

 

A bully named Erik’s been trying to hang out with Maria, a kindhearted girl, a whole lot lately. What is he planning? Well, a goofball named David is on a mission to stop whatever it is Erik’s doing. Fly swatters, toy helicopters, and other gizmos are fair game on his crazy mission to scare the bully away.

But why does David hate Erik so much? The answers will emerge somewhere in the wild middle school hallways!

Whether you want to read or perform the play, you’re in for a good time!

In addition to the fun story, this book contains:

  • Detailed performance suggestions for elementary or middle schools wishing to stage the play (cast of 26+ actors recommended, 16 required)

  • Discussion questions on the topics that surface during the story

  • An overview of the play’s main characters

  • A surprise from the author

This play is for ages 7 and up.

Preview

Please enjoy a sample of this play.

Scene 1

 

[The setting is a middle school hallway. There is a long wall that has one classroom door, slightly open so that characters can enter and exit through it. There is a cheesy-looking poster on the wall (near the left side of the stage) that has a big kid, one who’s starting to grow a beard, beating up a little one. There is a big X over both of them. It has the message, “Only you can prevent bullying!” ]

 

[This scene takes place shortly before school starts. VARIOUS STUDENTS are walking across the stage in both directions, having silent conversations among themselves. These students have backpacks, and so do the main characters. They are all moving at their own pace: Some are in a rush, others are relaxed. Some are in big groups, others are alone. Some look very tired. They never block the audience’s view of the main characters, though, walking behind them instead. They occasionally glance at DAVID.]

 

[David’s using a fly swatter to whack various things in pursuit of a rebellious fly. He has the stance of a karate master, and he yells “Hi-yah!” every time he delivers a blow.]

 

[MARIA and ERIK walk in, stage left. They’re having a serious conversation as they slowly walk along. Whenever Erik talks, there’s force behind his words. Maria always tries to sound sensitive to the people around her. David pretends not to notice them.]

 

MARIA: It won’t be easy. But, you know, I think it’s a good idea.

 

ERIK: Glad you think so, Maria. I just got thinking, I’m in middle school now, so... [slowly shrugs shoulders]

 

MARIA: I know what you mean, Erik.

 

ERIK: But I’ve gotta take it slow. Other people are gonna think it’s weird.

 

[They’re nearing David, whose shouts are getting louder and louder.]

 

MARIA: Well, I think—

 

ERIK: David, would ya shut up?!

 

DAVID: But I’m on the hunt!

 

ERIK: The hunt for what? A brain?

 

MARIA: [half-whispering, eyebrows shoot up with surprise] Erik, what did we just talk about? [meekly] And... he’s not dumb...

 

ERIK: [getting up close to David] Come on, you’ve gotta admit David’s annoying. Like when he—

 

MARIA: Erik!

 

DAVID: Erik, silence! A wild fly has appeared, and I’m going to take it down!

 

ERIK: You’re telling me to be quiet? Just listen to you yelling like a maniac! It’s no wonder you hardly have any friends!

 

MARIA: I think—

 

[David swings the fly swatter around, nearly hitting Erik with it. During the following conversation, they get right in each other’s faces.]

 

ERIK: Hey!

 

DAVID: Move out of the way!

 

ERIK: You tried to hit me!

 

DAVID: You were right there! What was I supposed to do?

 

ERIK: Wait for me to move.

 

DAVID: Fiddlesticks, now I don’t see the fly!

 

MARIA: [giggling] Fiddlesticks?

 

ERIK: [pointing to a random spot] Oh, look, it’s right there!

 

[David swats in that direction, but he’s confused when he doesn’t see anything.]

 

ERIK: [pointing to another random spot] It flew this way!

 

[David swats again, but he realizes the fly isn’t there.]

 

ERIK: Oh, you just missed it! [pointing to another random spot] Now it’s—

 

DAVID: Liar! Good gravy, you’re a jerk!

 

ERIK: Good gravy?

 

DAVID: First you say all that trash about me, and now this?

 

[Maria groans and rolls her eyes. The boys don’t notice.]

 

ERIK: I thought I saw that big, scary fly.

 

DAVID: Liar.

 

ERIK: Hey, you were about to swat me with that! [flicks the fly swatter]

 

DAVID: No, I wasn’t. You were just standing too close. Fly swatters are for flies, you know!

 

MARIA: [steps between them] Would you guys quit fighting?!

 

ERIK: Sure, as soon as David admits he wanted to hit me with that.

 

[David’s eyes grow wide and his jaw drops as he stares at the ground right next to Erik, where the fly has landed.]

 

DAVID: There it is! Hi-yah!

 

[David whacks the fly with an overhead smash, nearly hitting Erik.]

 

DAVID: I got it!

 

ERIK: You almost got me... again!

 

DAVID: You were right next to the fly again. That’s all.

 

ERIK: You were hoping you’d hit me too.

 

MARIA: [tugging on Erik’s shoulder] Erik, maybe we should just leave...

 

DAVID: [throws head back in shock] Maria, why are you hanging out with Erik, anyway?

 

MARIA: David, it’s none of your business.

 

DAVID: But—

 

ERIK: [grinning, speaks in sneaky tone] What’s the matter, jealous?

 

DAVID: N-no. I just know you’re a jerk, so—

 

ERIK: So what?

 

DAVID: [pointing the fly swatter right at Erik] I think you’re dangerous!

 

ERIK: Oh no, what am I going to do? Swat somebody?

 

DAVID: [poking Erik with the fly swatter] I don’t know what you’re capable of, but—

 

[Erik grabs the fly swatter and throws it on the ground behind him. TEACHER 1 pokes their head out of the nearby classroom door.]

 

TEACHER 1: Erik, no throwing things! Pick that up this instant!

 

ERIK: But David was—

 

TEACHER 1: Give it back to him.

 

ERIK: But he was trying to—

 

TEACHER 1: Now!

 

[Erik picks it up, shoves it in David’s hands, and exits stage right.]

 

ERIK: [mumbling] Teachers never listen to me.

 

[Maria starts to follow him, but she turns to David instead.]

 

MARIA: You know, you could’ve been nicer to Erik.

 

DAVID: Didn’t you hear all the stuff he said about me?

 

MARIA: I know, but you’re not helping.

 

[David takes a breath in and out, calming down.]

 

DAVID: You shouldn’t hang out with Erik.

 

MARIA: [slightly irritated] And why is that?

 

DAVID: He can be mean, and I don’t want him to hurt you.

 

MARIA: [sarcastically] Don’t worry, Noble David. I don’t need your protection. [seriously] Erik’s fine. He—

 

DAVID: But he’s been so mean to me—and other people, too. I don’t want him to do anything to you.

 

[For a second, Maria feels touched by his concern.]

 

MARIA: [clicking back to reality] Listen, I know you think Erik’s awful, but—

 

LUCAS: [calling from offstage] Did you get the fly, David?

 

[LUCAS walks in, stage right. Lucas isn’t very emotional on the surface. All of his movements seem carefully calculated. His eye contact is almost like a stare unless he’s avoiding someone’s gaze altogether.]

 

DAVID: Sure did, Lucas!

 

LUCAS: Mission accomplished!

 

[David and Lucas high five each other, only David uses the fly swatter instead of his hand.]

 

DAVID: [trying not to smile much] And I might have scared Erik in the process, too.

 

MARIA: David!

 

LUCAS: Is that why you wanted my fly swatter so badly?

 

DAVID: No, no. I just wanted to prevent a disturbance in the hallways.

 

MARIA: Lucas, just out of curiosity, why did you have a fly swatter with you in the first place?

 

LUCAS: Chance favors the prepared man.

 

MARIA: So you’re always prepared for a fly?

 

[David and Lucas smile at each other.]

 

LUCAS: And bears.

 

DAVID: And monsters.

 

LUCAS: And meteors.

 

DAVID: And alien invasions.

 

[During the next line, David puts a finger over his lips, hoping to shush Lucas, but it doesn’t work.]

 

LUCAS: Plus, David informed me that we should have a fly swatter with us in case he needs to protect someone from Erik.

 

MARIA: [crosses her arms] Protect me. From Erik. With a fly swatter. Seriously, how old are you?

 

DAVID: I’m almost thirteen!

 

LUCAS: I’m twelve years, three months, four days, five hours, and... [checks watch] six minutes old.

 

MARIA: But is that really why you had the fly swatter?

 

DAVID: No, it was mostly for unwanted insects.

 

LUCAS: Mostly.

 

MARIA: Mostly...

 

DAVID: Oh, Maria! I almost forgot. Did those notes I gave you for history class help you out?

 

MARIA: [grateful, uncrosses arms] Oh, right. Yeah, they did. [starts pulling them out of her backpack] Thanks for lending them to me. I’m starting to catch back up.

 

DAVID: No problem.

 

[Maria smiles and hands him the notes.]

 

DAVID: But seriously, Maria, you need to watch out for Erik.

 

MARIA: But seriously, David, you need to mind your own business.

 

DAVID: Well, for your own safety, could you at least take a fly swatter?

 

MARIA: [sighs] Listen, I’ve been talking to Erik. I don’t want to violate his privacy or anything, but I’m telling you, you don’t need to worry about him. He—

 

[A warning bell rings.]

 

DAVID: Well, I need to get to homeroom. I don’t want to be late.

 

LUCAS: Me too. Let’s, uh—

 

[Lucas notices ANDREA enter stage left. He loses his train of thought and looks away. He coughs into his fist. The number of students crossing the stage is starting to thin out. Andrea always walks with a bounce in her step and a confident smile on her face.]

 

ANDREA: Hey, Maria!

 

MARIA: Andrea, what’s up?

 

LUCAS: [nervously tugs on David’s shirt] Let’s go. My locker’s far away.

 

DAVID: Okay. [to Andrea and Maria] Bye.

 

ANDREA: Hi and bye!

 

MARIA: See you later.

 

[David exits stage right, followed by a skittish Lucas.]

 

MARIA: I don’t know what to think of David. He’s funny and nice one second, but kind of bossy the next.

 

ANDREA: Tell me about it. Or, actually, tell me why you and Erik were talking earlier.

 

MARIA: That’s a secret.

 

ANDREA: Oh, so you were talking to Erik about something secret...!

 

MARIA: It’s nothing like that, believe me. He just needed my help with something.

 

ANDREA: [convinced, slightly disappointed] Oh, okay. Guess I was hopin’ for a juicy love story.

 

MARIA: Nope. It’s nothing like that, Andrea.

 

ANDREA: So what is it, then?

 

MARIA: A secret!

 

[Andrea groans, and the two friends laugh. They both start exiting stage left. But Andrea notices the anti-bullying poster hanging on the wall and stops by it for a moment.]

 

ANDREA: This poster is so stupid. [She puts a hand up near it.] I’ve never seen anybody beat someone up. Have you?

 

MARIA: I’ve seen a few hits...

 

ANDREA: But hardly ever, right?

 

MARIA: I guess.

 

ANDREA: Yeah, so it’s not a problem! It’s not like we’re killing each other! [She punches the air and laughs at her own joke as Maria gives a reluctant giggle.] Is something wrong, Maria?

 

MARIA: Oh, it’s nothing...

 

[Once they exit stage left, no more students cross the stage. The lights dim.]

Are you enjoying yourself so far?
The rest of the story is available on Amazon!

Copyright © 2025 by Bobby John Miller III. All rights reserved.

 

Tales of a Bitter Bully is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons (living or dead), events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

bottom of page